Oriental Outback

I’ve been talking to people recently about how long I’ve been in China, total. But I realize that I’m not too sure how long I’ve actually lived here. So I’m going to calculate it nice and quick right here with the assitance of my passport and the date calculator.

In 2005, I studied abroad in Nanjing for a semester and spent the summer traveling. I entered the PRC for the first time on February 14, 2005, and left on June 28. That’s 5 months and 4 days.

In 2007 after gradating I came to Korla to teach English to high school juniors for two semesters. The first semester I was in China from August 25 to January 13, 2008. That’s when I went home for winter break, and that’s a total of 4 months and 19 days. For the second semester I was in China from February 20 to June 2. That’s 3 months and 13 days.

Finally I came to Urumqi to study Uyghur on August 29th, and I’m still here. So far, that’s 2 months and 23 days.

So as of today, I’ve been in China for a total of 492 days, which is about 1 year and 4 months.

I’ve bought my ticket back to the US - I depart on February 23rd. So by the time this particular stint in China is over I’ll have spent 586 days in China, or 1 year and 7 months.

So cool. I’ve spent a lot of time in China, but not as much as I had been envisioning. My calculating method was 1 semester in Nanjing, 2 semesters in Korla, and 1 semester which is currently underway in Urumqi - by mentally accounting “semester” as “half a year” I told people I’ve been here a year and a half and that when I leave I’ll have spent two years here. But considering a semester isn’t 6 months, there’s a deficit of 5 months in the mix that will put my grand total at 1 year 7 months by the time I go home.

Hopefully these will be the first of many years spent in China.

Well, honestly I can’t say that. I makeup dialogs every weekday for my spoken Uyghur class and only after a few weeks it’s getting a little difficult to think of things two people would talk about - and of course to make a Uyghur conversation out of it. Recently I did a dialog on the current crisis in my beloved home country, the US. I figured it’d be a cool two birds with one stone since… honestly… I had no freaking clue what the crisis was about and where it came from. So I did some Google sleuthing and spent some quality time with a Uyghur-English dictionary and came up with this. Disclaimer: it’s totally wrong. It’s terrible Uyghur and it extremely simplifies what’s happening in the US if it gets anything right in the first place. But I had an interesitng time writing it, so I’m throwing it on (at?) the Internets.

ئا: ئامرىكىدا ئىقتىسادىي كرىزىس يۈز بەردى، بۇ نېمە ئۈچۈن؟

ئە: كۆپ مۇتەخەسسىسلەر ئامرىكىنىڭ ئىقتىسادى چۇشۇپ كەتتى دېۋاتىدۇ.

ئا: راستمۇ؟ ئامرىكىنىڭ ئىقتىسادى دۇنيا بويىچە ئەڭ ياخشىغۇ؟

ئە: شۇنداق، شۇڭا بۇ كرىزىس باشقا دۆلەتلەرنىڭ ئىقتىسادىغا چوڭ تەسىر قىلىۋاتىدۇ.

ئا: كرىزىسنىڭ مەنبەسى نېمە؟

ئە: بىر نەچچە يىل بۇرۇن، ئامرىكىدا ئىقتىسادىي قانۇنلار ئۆزگىرىپ، سىياسەتلەر كەڭرى بولۇپ كەتتى. بۇ ئۆزگىرىشنىڭ نەتىجىسى – ئېلىم-بېرىم ئاسانراق بولدى.

ئا: بۇ ياخشى ئەمەسمۇ؟

ئە: ئادەتتە بۇ ياخشى، لېكىن كۆپ ئامرىكىلىقلار يېڭى ئۆي ئېلىش ئۈچۈن بانكىدىن قەرز ئالدى. بانكا قەرز ئالغانلارنىڭ قەرز قايتۇرۇش ئىقتىدارىغا قاراماي قەرز بەردى. بۇ بەك خەۋپلىك ئەھۋال.

ئا: ئەلۋەتتە، ئۇلارنىڭ قەرز قايتۇرۇش ئىقتىدارىنى بىلمىسىڭىز، ئۇلار قەرزنى قايتۇرالماسلىقى مۇمكىن!

ئە: بۇ توغرا گەپ. چۈنكى ئۇ چاغدا كۆپ ئادەملەر يېڭى ئۆي سېتىۋالىۋاتقان بولغاچقا، بەك جىق يېڭى ئۆي سېلىندى. لېكىن كۆپ ئادەملەر قەرزىنى قايتۇرالمىدى.

ئا: شۇڭا بانكىلار بۇ ئادەملەرنىڭ ئۆيىنى ئېلىۋالدىمۇ؟

ئە: توغرا. لېكىن كۆپ ئۆي سېلىنغاچقا، ئۆينىڭ باھاسى كۆپ تۆۋەنلەپ كەتتى. ئويلاپ بېقىڭ، بانكىلار كۆپ پۇل قەرز بەردى، لېكىن قىممىتى يوق ئۆيلەرنى ئېلىۋالدى. دېمەك، كۆپ پۇل زىيان تارتتى. ئامرىكىنىڭ بانكىلىرىدا پۇل بولمىسا، ئۇلار قەرز بېرەلمەيدۇ. بەزى بانكىلار ۋەيران بولدى. بانكا - ئىقتىسادىي تەرەققىياتنىڭ ئاساسى. شىركەتلەر قەرز ئالالمىسا، تەرەققىي قىلالمايدۇ. شۇنىڭ بىلەن، مەبلەغ سالغانلارنىڭ ئىشەنچىسى تۆۋەنلەيدۇ. ئۇلار پايچەكلىرىنى ساتىدۇ. دېمەك شىركەتلەر نە بانكىلاردىنمۇ، مەبلەغ سالغۇچىلاردىنمۇ پۇل ئالالمايدۇ. ئىقتىسادى توڭلايدۇ.

ئا: ئەمما، بۇنىڭ دۇنيانىڭ ئىقتىسادىي كرىزىسى بىلەن نېمە مۇناسىۋىتى بار؟

ئە: ھازىر ئۇچۇر دەۋرى، ھەممە نەرسە تورلاشقان. پۇل، ئىقتىساد، مەبلەغ، قاتارلىقلارنىڭ ھەممىسى خەلقئارالىق.ئۇنىڭ ئۈستىگە ئامرىكىنىڭ ئىقتىسادى دۇنيا ئىقتىسادىنىڭ ئاساسلىرىدىن بىرى. شۇڭا ئامرىكىنىڭ ئىقتىسادىي كرىزىسى دۇنيانىڭ ئىقتىسادىي كرىزىسدۇر.

So I’ve arrived in Xinjiang - visa issues went well - and am now studying Uyghur at Xinjiang Agricultural University. Thus Uyghur classes are taking up most of my time. That, and also the abandoned kitten I decided to adopt. Yeah, it was a sort of rash decision but in the end it makes all the difference in the world to have the company. She will, of course, be a Uyghur speaking cat. Pictures and videos will follow.

I call the Chinese bureacracy, in all its manifestations, the Machine, for various reasons. My passport is in the Machine right now. There are probably some pleasant Chinese folks in Houston or wherever who are going over my application and deciding whether or not to give me a visa, but I like to imagine my passport being crunched through cogs and passed down conveyer belts, eventually popping out of a pipe with a *pfoooo* sound effect and a puff of smoke - with a visa, or maybe without. I hope it’s the former. And if that’s the case, I’ll be going back to Xinjiang at the end of August.

In what probably represents the pinnacle of my nerdiness, I’m practicing my Uyghur by translating the hilarious end credits song “Still Alive” of the game Portal. It’s pretty funny, but only if you’ve played through the game: then you can understand the twisted humor of the song. Otherwise, the lyrics probably make little sense. And given that there are probably few people who study Uyghur and have played Portal, I’m obviously not doing this for a large audience. But it’s fun anyways!

It’s a work in progress, that’s why it’s hosted on a wiki, at this link.

I’m in Indiana, studying Uzbek, expanding my linguistic repertoire, as it were. Marveling at the various similarities and unanticipated differences between Uzbek and Uyghur. Xudo xohlasa, or xuda xalsa, I will be returning to Xinjiang in August, making the title of this blog once again relevant to what I write about.